no
water
for the
thirsty
i grew up in this happy little nice family where everything was done as it has been for generations tradition-based do no evil love thy neighbour where the bad couldnt be found in us just in them those outside vague persons consumed by greed lust pure necrotic tissue upon god’s earth not doing harm upon others was enough to be defined as a good man bless thy soul find thee in heaven.
this mentality has been so ingrained in the moral justice mock war we wage against the bad men that even stripping down a man by his own choices actions or by outside force what must be the last vestige of humanity in him is the belief that he is good and has been good and the peace it brings in whatever crossroads he may encounter in life will offer the strength needed to endure.
thing is there is no divine segregation of those who are allowed to hold this belief as each of us finds justification in our choices actions and see ourselves righteous in the eyes of the good we argue we do what we do is for family friends greater good or something else entirely.
i cant find the good within me anymore.
ive always believed i am egotistical and narcissistic in various degrees at various points of my life but even so until recently i had never found the capacity to make choices actions that do harm unto others no matter how diluted the good i saw in the argument for it yet now now i find no barrier nothing within the wellbeing of family friend foe that can convince me what i do for myself must be judged by higher standards and what is worse i can see no shift in the balance between the good and bad within the past present future history of consciousness of myself.
i am me.
§